When Bishies Collide
by Naria Lacour de Fanel
Summary: What DOES Ayame do when he finds the perfect, though strange model he's always wanted? It's FABULOUS! I guarantee side splitting laughter if you can guess who the mystery bishie is!


Yesh, I have this posted on ADULTfanfiction.net, but only because I didn't know how I was gonna deal with it...but now I do!! SHOUNEN-AI!!::wheeee!!!:: Eh, maybe it'll be juicier on the other site, but for now it's ALLL innocent! .  
  
Be prepared for perhaps the most loverly crossover fic ever!! ::trumpets sound:: Ok, well maybe not the best...but the characters involved make it super spiffilous for me...so IN YOUR EYE!! See if you can guess who the mystery bishie is...if you truly love fair haired bishies as much as I, you'll understand this pair...really!! Oh, and sorry about :: and () , I just don't know how to separate stuff....  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own said characters, but if I did...I wouldn't have to write about my pervy fantasies...I could experience them! DAMN! ::tear::

_Another__ boring day outside of the usual Sohma antics. Perhaps I'll go to Shigure's to see if something of interest will happen. Then again, both Kyo and my brother, along with sweet little Tohru are still in school...I so hope that she likes my next design! I wonder if those gorilla-like painters will be done molesting my beloved shop soon... So boring with nothing to do! It's aggravating! ::evil grr:: I mean, really! I do hope that Shigure will at least provide some entertainment, god knows it's better than going back to Sohma House. Momiji would mess up my pretty new robes anyway, and we musn't have that! That child really needs to learn some mann... Oh, my! ::blink::blink:: What was that delicious little thing!? And my, isn't he dressed exquisitely? It's not often you see someone bold enough to wear something like that in public, lest he be a flaming drag queen or...me!:: .secret happy dance.:: But somehow he seems rather masculine...rather...mysterious. I mean, those thigh high boots just scream bad ass not pretty pretty princess! Oh! It gives me the shivers! ::evil giggle:: This could be quite exciting...He could make an excellent model! I mean, you can practically see everything except his shoulders...those football-esque guards HAVE to go! But that little purple thong, at least I'm hoping it's a thong, I suppose I'll have to steal his sarong to check... But anyhow, that purple...garment...It brings out the lavender in his hair! ::swoon:: I simply MUST speak with him_!  
"Sir? Sir!," Ayame called to the lavender haired one. But the lavender haired one did not listen, instead he disappeared into the crowd. (Yes, now that the narrator has come into play, did I mention Ayame was on a very crowded street in front of a Macy's/Starbucks that was having a 99% off sale and all the inhabitants of said area happened to be crazed yuppified soccer mom executive types?) And as tempted as Ayame was to stop and shop, he knew that his designs were so much more fabulous and lattes were fattening! So he flounced after the tasty little morsel...I mean model, as his feathery hair could clearly be seen above the heads of the yuppie scum. So much for disappearing, eh? Anyway, Ayame, consumed in his quest, did not notice when the lavender haired beauty stopped, nor when he whipped out a can of mace from his purse. (SHH! Everyone knows accessories are a must! Why the hell would Ayame want a fashion defective model?)  
"Back off, perve!!!" the lovely one screamed as Ayame approached. The loverly Sohma, flustered, winded, and completely peeved that the cute lil' bishie felt threatened by him enough to bust out with mace, simply bowed gracefully.  
"I mean you no harm, Oh Luscious One," Ayame purred, his eyes sparkling with ::uber:: seductiveness.  
"Luscious one?" the pretty boy contemplated, somewhat flattered (not that he would ever admit it.) Then that little emotion turned into confusion, which quickly turned into anger, because random strangers don't chase you through a crowd and then talk to you when you have mace pointed at their face unless they're a) a stalker b) psychotic or c) a psychotic stalker intent on doing lewd things to innocent stalkees. None of these options sounded good to the fair haired one. Best to go with anger to scare the fellow away! So he put on his scary ::rawr:: face and yelled this: "Do you know who you're dealing with?!"  
"I believe I'm dealing with the most perfectly beautiful person I've ever seen, Lovely ::sparkle::sparkle::," Ayame swooned, unaffected by the lavender haired one's cute little outburst.  
Pretty boy was now ticked to no end! Who the hell was this perve and what did he want, calling him lovely and beautiful? He was an evil person who did evil things with his evil thoughts in his evil spare time to bring evil things to nice people's happy lives, and told Ayame so:  
"I am the Angel of Death! ::froth:: I destroyed half a planet, created a race of evil wizards, destroyed countless lives, wreaked general havoc, and didn't even break a nail! I am a GOD! ::fist shake::fist shake:: FEAR ME!!" he screamed, small flecks of spittle sprinkling the ground. The lavender haired one stood there heaving and frothing at the mouth in the after effects of his little speech, clutching his purse and mace to his chest. Ayame giggled into his hand.  
"What? What's so funny?!" The pretty boy demanded.  
"Well...uh...You're... also the gayest gay bishie that ever pranced down the runway!" Ayame blurted out, doubling over in laughter.  
"Look who's talking," he cleverly retorted, turning away and pouting. Ayame quickly sobered.  
"All joking aside, O Luscious One, ::giggle:: I simply wish to proposition you," Ayame cooed.  
The lavender haired sassy boy blanched, then realized that being the Angel of Death, even if he was a flamer, required a demeaning death ray glare of impending doom insert evil laughter here to such a rude comment, not sissified paling! So, in keeping with character, he glared daggers at calm collected Ayame. However, the flamboyant Sohma was unfazed and simply flung his business card in the evil one's face.  
"Here's my card, Pretty Boy, I could use your body..." The death ray glare turned from only "impending doom" to "full out screaming agonizing painful death by small rabid rodents" death ray glare, complete with sparks flying from the lavender haired one's forehead!  
"I can make it worth your while?" 

Death ray glare charging to full force...(expect small atomic explosion soon.)

"Oh fine, if you refuse to speak to me, I'll just have to find another lovely model to display all my beautiful fetishy lacey creations," the snake sighed, his eyes wide and sparkling, rimmed with tears. 

Sparkly Gazillion Megaton Ultimate Full Force Death Ray Glare go ::poof!::

Static fizzled from the evil one's head as his mind turned from complete annihilation of scary stalker person to... fashion!!!! ::fancy prance::  
"Hmm...lacey fetish creations? And you want me to model them for you?" The evil bishie questioned.  
"That is what I said, O Luscious One."  
"No you didn't! You wanted to 'proposition' me," he cried indignantly.  
"Well...maybe later, " Ayame muttered under his breath.  
"What did you say, perve?!" frothed the evil one.  
"::giggle:: I said alligator, you'd look stunning in faux alligator!"  
"No, that makes me look fat ::pshaw!:: ...do you have anything in...silver," The pretty boy questioned, anger completely forgotten for the sake of vanity. The sly snake slipped an arm around the lavender haired ones shoulders as they walked down the parkway, as the evil one was acting not-so-evil.  
"I have anything you want, you beautiful creature!" Ayame assured him. However, he secretly drooled, thinking about allll the possibilities with his new model....all the possibilities. "By the by, Pretty Boy, may I ask you your name?"  
"Kuja...THE SUPREME DESTRUCTIVE FORCE OF THE WORLD!!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" the evil one cackled, random explosions and thunder claps peppering his speech.  
"Right... may I just call you Kuja?"  
"Sure," Kuja said, giving Ayame a sweet smile. Then, arm in arm, the two fair haired bishies made their way to Ayame's shop.

And thus, a beautiful relationship was born between two completely different characters with the same fashion sense for my own pervy gratification!!. I mean really! Who would be a better model for Ayame than the oh-so- feminine Kuja? (For those who don't know, Kuja is from FF9 and Ayame Sohma is from Fruits Basket. NOW GO FIND PICTURES OF THE LOVELIES!! GO!! AND DROOL OVER THEIR UBER BISHOUNEN-NESS!!)...I'm sorry...fair haired bishies are a major weakness for me...::tremble::tear::tear::tremble:: And crossovers of deserving bishies are even better...::tremblesob::  
  
Anyhoo, I think I'll continue the crossover madness to displease any of you who find my madness wrong! And for those of you who don't....I LOVE YOU!!! ::sparklesparkle:: 


End file.
